This month’s column is a follow-up to my January feature on resolutions and goals. Last month I said I'd provide some follow-up on my “sugar-free afternoons” experiment and the whole composting thing. Well, here goes…
In January, I decided I would like to kick my habit of eating a sugary snack in the afternoon. Having attempted this many times in the past, I wasn’t quite sure how willing I was to make this an actual goal – yet. So, I decided to try an experiment instead. The experiment was to notice when I wanted a sugary snack in the afternoon and just to check in with how it felt, what my experience was, etc. whether I had the snack or not. It was not so much to say I would avoid the snack but also included that I might try that some days, and see what showed up. While I would love to report a great outcome, this was an experiment like so many others: it ended with mixed results. Here’s a short chronicle of events (days/details not scientifically tracked).
My Sugar-Free Experiment Log
Day 1-3 Traveled via plane to Chicago to visit my ill father. Difficult and tense situation, ate sugar all 3 afternoons, including celebratory chocolate with my husband on the flight there. Not sure what we were celebrating but travel always makes me feel like I’m on vacation. Go figure. What did I notice? I didn’t really pay much attention. Hmm…not sure what that means.
Days 3-10 On the 3rd night of our trip, while still visiting family, I came down with the stomach flu. Sicker than a dog overnight. I ended up with a flatter belly, to be sure, but I don’t recommend it. I spent the next 5-7 days mostly eating bagels, crackers, and apple juice. I stayed off the sugar but I had no interest in most food anyway. I guess this doesn't really count as the experiment.
Days 11-18 These days passed by in a blur and were the most interesting, I guess. After my flu, one of the first things to return was a craving for sweets. Given that I hadn’t been eating much, I didn’t see any reason not to eat a protein bar or cookie in the afternoon. There were a couple days where I avoided sugar during my normal 3-5 PM timeslot. What I noticed was the craving for sugary foods was intensely strong at times and made it hard to concentrate. I can only imagine what addicted smokers or crack addicts must feel when they don’t get what they crave. It’s no wonder people commit crimes.
When I kept focused on the tasks at hand, by around 5:30 PM I was really hungry. By that point, I ate whatever it was I had – a protein bar, a fun-sized Butterfinger, or the rest of the potato chips. It wouldn’t have mattered what the food was, I was that hungry. I also came to realize that given a choice (such as when on vacation or a weekend), I would prefer to take a nap at 3:30. Given that I work until 6 or later most days, napping is not really an option. Interesting to note…
Days 19-22 I was really, really frustrated. I felt a lot of judgment about not even being able to do the experiment. I ate the snack when I wanted it without really giving too much thought to it. I felt like I was failing and also remembered I agreed to share this with all of you. I thought about saying I’d changed my mind on sharing my experiment with you all.
Day 23 Unsure of what to do, I realized it was time to ask for help. Yes, it took me 3 weeks to do so! I reached out for help from someone who knows me well, who knows about behavior change, and who knew about the experiment. I told him how I wanted to “manage” my sugar and not quit it for good. He told me there aren’t many sugar cravers who can really do that. That was not what I wanted to hear! He said most people have to cut it out entirely or with luck, they might develop such a negative reaction to it that they just won’t eat it.
His assessment was that I was not really ready to make this change. I know that might sound like criticism but on some level it was a relief. And, he was right. I don’t think I was even ready to do an experiment. Even the experiment felt like some kind of deprivation or rules system. So, what did I decide to do? Stop the experiment and regroup.
Regrouping
Day 24-28 I stopped the experiment and spent some time writing about what happened during the last month, what I was feeling about it, etc. Here’s what I realized:
· I had set up the experiment as “stop something bad” vs. “embrace something good”
· I had taken this on against a backdrop of intense personal stress (travel, a move, sick parent)
· I hadn’t really planned how I might conduct the experiment, just went for it
· I engaged in a lot of negative judgment for how I conducted the experiment despite not having set any measures of success
Okay, so now what? I have created some “abundance-oriented” statements and objectives for what I want for myself:
· I want to be mindful . I eat foods that support my feeling of well-being, I notice what I really want and satisfy it, I assess whether or I am really hungry and eat accordingly.
· I eat what makes me feel good. For me, this means amping up my protein and not having many simple carbs at all right now. Carbs make me crave sweets. I am eating more eggs, other protein, a little more fat and a lot of vegetables.
· I have a contingency plan. If I want a sweet snack at 4 PM, I have a plan for nuts, cottage cheese and a little fruit. Nuts taste a little rich and sweet, so it feels a little decadent. Overall, I respond better than when I eat the cookie.
· I choose to simplify my life. I have eaten more or less the same breakfast for a few days in s row now. I buy less and throw less away. I seek my variety when I dine out.
· I ask for help. I will ask my husband to trade the food shopping for the laundry. He will only buy what’s on the list and get it done in 20 minutes max. If I ask him not to bring home sweets, he will severely limit them.
So far this week, I have been really enjoying how I feel, I am more energetic, and I feel like things are easier, simpler somehow. I am optimistic and feel more good things coming in, instead of avoidance. I don’t know where this will go, but it feels fine in this moment and after all, that is really all I have.
As for the composting thing, I sought help for that , too. A friend said she had some good information on composting and when I asked her later, she couldn’t find it. So, she placed me in the very capable hands of a colleague who knows all about this stuff. I will pick up my Green Machine composter and supplies this weekend!
I would love to hear stories from others who have struggled with goals or have techniques that have helped you be successful. Please share comments if you have them!
